Monday, June 7, 2010

dreams of a dowager

lady wigram

First, a reminder to enter for a chance to win my Tauer perfume giveaway here

as you dear readers may know, I am an old fan of the great English domestic novel, but I have noticed a disturbing phenomenon; as I grow older, I begin identifying less with the sweet young 15 year old heroines, and more with their mothers and aunts with all their peccadilloes of character and odd obsessions.

Do they ever grow tired of watching, aiding, and abetting the young females as they perform their elaborate mating dances, flirting and giggling till the wee hours of the morning at country dances while they, the older women, gossip and play cards? Do they ever tire of living vicariously through them, when their blood is pulsing just as quickly—or even more so--through their own veins? Do they  ever wish their stolid, unimaginative, dependable husbands would shape up and be more attentive? As they sit in their boudoir among their pots of cream and scent, do they fantasize about a new romance, a new lover in their bedchamber, smelling their skin and nibbling their ears?

Similarly, do the lovely actresses who played these creatures in 80’s masterpiece theatre renditions of classic novels now feel sad to be cast in the role of the mothers now? Do they wish the roles were a bit more multi-dimensional, a bit more consonant with what they themselves feel, as lusty women in the prime of their life?

I think they do…

CREDITS:

Thomas Lawrence’s portrait of Lady Wigram courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

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perfume cure for impotence

First, a reminder to enter for a chance to win my Tauer perfume giveaway here

shah abbas You know I love Persia. Here in the classic erotic handbook The Perfumed Garden, find a fragrant cure for impotence. I imagine drinking such perfume might make anyone feel in the mood, provided he doesn’t get a bellyache…

“Undoing of Aiguillettes (Impotence for a Time)

Know, O Vizir (God be good to you!), that impotence arises from three causes:

Firstly, from the tying of aiguillettes.

Secondly, from a feeble and relaxed constitution.

And thirdly, from too premature ejaculation.

To cure the tying of aiguillettes you must take galanga, cinnamon from Mecca, cloves, Indian cachou, nutmeg, Indian cubebs, sparrowwort, cinnamon, Persian pepper, Indian thistle, cardamoms, pyrether, laurel seed, and gilly flowers. All these ingredients must be pounded together carefully, and one drinks of it as much as one can, morning and night, in broth, particularly in pigeon broth; fowl broth may, however, be substituted just as well. Water is to be drunk before and after taking It. The compound may likewise be taken with honey, which is the best method, and gives the best results.

The man whose ejaculation is too precipitate must take nutmeg and incense (oliban) mixed together with honey.

If the impotence arises from weakness, the following ingredients are to be taken in honey: viz., pyrether, nettleseed, a little spurge (or cevadille), ginger, cinnamon of Mecca, and cardamom. This preparation will cause the weakness to disappear and effect the cure, with the Silsilat_al_Dhahhab_1587permission of God the Highest!

I can warrant the efficacy of all these preparations, the virtue of which has been tested.”

Tested indeed! My goodness!

and here is a prescription for ‘strengthening one’s member.’ I wonder If the rubbing in is what does it, not medicine, but then, I’m a cynic… :

“A man, therefore, with a small member, who wants to make it grand or fortify it for the coitus, must rub it before copulation with tepid water, until it gets red and extended by the blood flowing into it, in consequence of the heat; he must then anoint it with a mixture of honey and ginger, rubbing it in sedulously. Then let him join the woman; he will procure for her such pleasure that she objects to him getting off her again.

Another remedy consists in a compound made of a moderate quantity of pepper, lave348px-MakhanEmbracedByAnEfreetinder, galanga, and musk, reduced to powder, sifted, and mixed up with honey and preserved ginger. The member after having been first washed in warm water, is then vigorously rubbed with the mixture; it will then grow large and brawny, and afford to the woman a marvellous feeling of voluptuousness.

A third remedy is the following: wash the member in water until it becomes red, and enters into erection. Then take a piece of soft leather, upon which spread hot pitch, and envelop the member with it. It will not be long before the member raises its head, trembling with passion. The leather is to be left on until the pitch grows cold, and the member is again in a state of repose. This operation, several times repeated, will have the effect of making the member strong and thick.

A fourth remedy is based upon the use made of leeches, but only of such as live in water (sic), You  put as many of them into a bottle as can be got in, and fill it up with oil Then expose the bottle to the sun, until the heat of the same has effected a complete mixture. With the fluid thus obtained the member is to be rubbed several consecutive days, and It will, by being thus treated, become of a good size and of full dimensions.”

I am not so sure about remedies no.’s three and four. These sound respectively tortuous and repulsive.

 

 

CREDITS:

Cited text from Richard Burton’s translation of The perfumed Garden, online at Sacredtexts.com.

Persian paintings of “shah abbas and wine boy,” “silsat al dahhab,”and “makhan embraced by ifrit” courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

 

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